What is a Focus Word and Why Choose One?
Are you a person who makes New Year’s resolutions? Or if you do make them, how long do you keep them?
I tried New Year's resolutions and they didn't work for me. There are positives and negatives to everything. For New Year's resolutions I experienced mostly negatives. I found that I often failed to keep the ones that I created. How many years in a row did I resolve to lose 10 lbs.? And I found my resolutions or goals often conflicted with one another. Here is one example. Regularly (especially after I turned 40) my health goals conflicted with my goal of building relationships and engaging socially. You probably see where I am heading with this. I wanted to get up at 5 a.m. each day and run for health. And I wanted to enjoy a glass of wine and appetizers or dinner with my husband and friends in the evening. My relational goals didn't align with my health goals (i.e. for me wine is not conducive to getting up and having strong legs to run). There are numerous other illustrations.
The point of setting resolutions is to create motivation and improved habits and well-being. Instead I ended up feeling bad about myself and not experiencing real and lasting change.
Years ago a mentor of mine brought a new concept to my attention. Focus words. A focus word is a single word that you choose, then use throughout the year to inspire thought, reflection, action, and celebration. A focus word replaces a New Year’s resolution. And when done correctly addresses all the negatives of New Year’s resolutions and gives all of the benefits of New Year’s resolutions.
Before we get to how to create or establish your own focus word, let’s talk about what a focus word is and what it is not.
What a focus word is?
A focus word is to inspire you. The word will likely have multiple meanings and definitions, not all of the meanings need to apply to you for the word to inspire. When you hear or see the word, its meaning and the thoughts it inspires to you is a great starting point. The word will continue to evolve and evoke different ideas over time. Your word will inspire curiosity, inviting you to consider all the areas of your life and how that word applies to you, to your decisions, and to your actions. It is a word that becomes your partner in growth - intentional and natural organic transformation. Your word is a friendly invitation to engage and focus on areas of your life that are important to you and that ultimately serve the world. The word is in the background and when you periodically check in with your word, you can be encouraged that you have automatically been taking steps that evidence your chosen word. Your word is for you.
What a focus word is not?
A focus word is not to make you feel guilty or burdened or insignificant. Your word is not to beat you over the head throughout the year making you feel like you need to do more or be more, or do different or be different. It is not to make you “better“. The science is in. We grow and transform more when we engage in positive and encouraging dialogue with ourselves and others. Your word is not a to do list. It’s not a resolution of certain habits or behaviors. It is not a weapon. Your word is not against you.
Choosing your focus word
You can choose your word in a myriad of ways. People tell me often that the word just comes to them. Once it’s in their mind they see it everywhere. Others look in a dictionary or in the Bible for their word. Others ask a friend. You can pull out a piece of paper and a pen and just start listing all the words that come into your mind, a brain dump, if you will. From that list your word may jump out at you. Or you may choose to look up synonyms for one of the words on your list. I recommend looking in the dictionary as well for the meaning of your word. Having all that information you can assess if it is the right word for you. Many years I have thought my word was one word and after looking in the dictionary or Bible I changed my mind. Or after looking in a thesaurus and finding synonyms I have chosen another word that was more specific and applicable to me and what I was going for during that next year.
Often I see people choose their word based on an area that they want to grow. I usually discourage them from that course of action. If someone says to me I need to be more disciplined so I’m choosing the word discipline, I coach them to keep exploring and keep asking questions. Why do you want to be more disciplined? The answer to that question will lead you to your focus word. Your focus word will help you to grow in discipline because the word is engaging and makes you curious. If your word promotes even one speck of guilt, then that probably isn’t your word.
December is when I start thinking about and choosing my word so that I can hit January with intention and purpose. So if you’re reading this in December now is the time to reflect on what your word for next year might be. If it is January or February or even later, that’s OK. You can still choose a word for the current year.
You have a word, now what?
You have chosen your focus word for the next year. Now what? Start to share your word. Tell your family. Tell your friends. Tell them why you chose the word. Tell them what it means to you right now and what you are anticipating. Have genuine conversations with others sharing your word and the story behind choosing it. And ask them about theirs or introduce the concept to them. Some of my favorite conversations in the new year are about focus words. Listening to others get excited about the future and their plans is life-giving.
Then live with your word day by day. You may not think about it or take action every day of the year. That's ok. This is not a to do list. It is a word to inspire. You can be curious about your word and the ways it will show up in your life. Look for it in books you read or on shows you watch. Listen for it in conversations. I like to discover my focus word as I move about my life. It always makes me smile.
For that reason I write it out and leave it in places to surprise me and catch my attention. Believe me it shows up on its own plenty too. You can write it on your mirror or make note cards and put them in your car and in your purse and around your home. It won’t be long before that word is top of mind. But at first it can be easy to get busy and forget about your focus word altogether. Some people choose to write out some objectives around the word. I don’t do that. I allow the word to be encouragement and a point of reflection throughout the year. Writing out objectives is too much like New Year’s resolutions, which don’t work for me.
How do I choose my focus word?
I don’t know about you, but I love to turn the page in a calendar, to open a new book, to start with a clean slate, and to see new opportunities and mercies the morning brings. So around December, I am looking forward to the new beginnings that January brings. When I start to feel that anticipation, I begin to consider and be curious about the next year’s focus (and focus word). These are the four general steps I use and recommend you use to choose my focus word - observe, pray, research, and choose.
Observe your surroundings with a focus on your current desires, interests, and dreams. Look around. Listen to people. See what bubbles up for you. Notice words that appear often or create a visceral reaction in your body. Jot down the words that mean something to you. Cross off words you lose interest in. Make a short list of 2-5 options.
Pray continually about the process, your observations, and the specific words that make your short list.
Research the words that survive your observations and prayer. Look at dictionary definitions to confirm the meaning of the word is in alignment with your focus. Review synonyms to affirm your word or to choose an alternate with the same meaning. Use a concordance or search your words in the Bible to see if there are verses that inspire you. Research your short list of words that you determined with observations and prayer for alignment with your values.
Choose your focus word after observing, praying, and researching. Allow yourself to live with the word you choose for a few days or weeks. Then lock your choice in and begin sharing.
Sharing Mine
Since my coach and mentor shared this concept with me years ago, I have chosen a focus word each year. I love looking back on the words. Looking at my focus word triggers so much. I can immediately remember beautiful milestones, hard challenges, and the transformational growth I experienced during that specific season of my life. Another part of the joy each year is the conversations that happen as we share words. I will start by sharing mine.
2021 Content
2020 Voice
2019 Redeem
2018 Abide
2017 Rejoice
2016 Remember
2015 Stretch
2014 Freedom
2013 Receive
2012 Promise
2011 Still
2010 Honor
Sharing yours
Part of the fun of a focus word is talking about it with others. Share with your family. Share with your friends. Share with your community. Share on social media. Share with us at The Commons.
Be in conversation about your word as you’re choosing it, once it’s chosen, and as you live it throughout the year. Because your focus word is constant but your expression of it throughout the year changes, it’s fun to have dialogue with other people and see how the word is showing up. You and the word are evolving and changing and growing throughout the year. Noting the evidence of the word and your new thoughts about it is powerful. So is celebrating what you’re seeing the changes and growth in your life. Use your word to get to know people and to allow them to get to know you. Use your word to have meaningful conversations throughout the year.
Soon I will write my reflections on my 2021 word and then reveal my 2022 focus word here on the blog if you are curious. Your community at The Commons cares about you and wants to hear your focus word story. I would love to know your history with focus words or your thoughts about this coming year. Please share in the comments.
Whether this is your first, tenth, or twentieth focus word, I am excited for you. Have fun, connect, and grow as you live and talk about your focus word.
