Curious about The Commons?
If you found yourself here, it may be random or it may be because you have listened to the podcast and are curious about what else there is at The Commons. Either way, after reading this post, you will better understand how The Commons helps women who are looking for deeper connection. When you understand more about The Commons and what’s in it for you, you can decide to stay or go. I hope you stay.
The Commons is a community for you.
What is The Commons?
The Commons is a space on the internet that celebrates story and offers community, learning, and encouragement.
The Commons is a community of beautiful, real, everyday people who desire deeper connections and friendships, yet are honest that there are real reasons that stop them from pursuing deep conversations and deep connections.
The Commons with Karla is a public podcast sharing stories of connection and lessons learned from everyday life.
At The Commons you may opt for coaching to help you achieve a dream, complete a project, or get unstuck in life.
Memory Lane Chats offers professional interviewing and recording of stories for private use and for increasing family conversations.
What does the name mean?
The name The Commons is the brainchild of my friend Crystal (hear from her on Episode #9: Wellness and the Impact of Connection). Crystal is a wonderful woman who asks great questions and listens well. As I described to her my vision and how I planned to help, she listened. Then out of nowhere, she shouted out the name "The Commons". I immediately had a visual of women gathered together and learning from one another. I absolutely loved the name and what I saw.
One of the places often referred to as The Commons is on a university campus. Close your eyes and you can picture the scene. A wide-open space likely framed with trees, benches made from concrete or wood holding people of all colors, shapes and sizes. Sounds of laughter and music mingle with conversations and birdsong. Bicycles accumulated at a designated bike rack or possibly being walked as people make their way from one location to another. Individual's reading or studying alone. Clusters of people seated together talking or walking with purpose. At least one person eyeing their watch and rushing away. Depending on the time-of-day people sharing food or beverages together. Whether from experience or media, you can picture a university commons area. This is an area with shared resources, resources that belong to the community and are accessible to all. A safe place to gather, be yourself and connect with another, as well as a place of learning and growing, rest and restoration.
A second way to picture The Commons is to consider our common humanity. If you are like me, it is tempting to be critical, considering differences more than similarities. My husband is great at giving others the benefit of the doubt, which inherently considers that they may be experiencing situations differently than us and reacting accordingly. I need this reminder. When I slow down, stop and think I can clearly see the person as a human being with the same base desires, needs and feelings as myself. This doesn't mean that I don't get to have personal values and convictions or opinions. I do. But it does mean that listening and loving take precedence over barreling over people with selfish intentions or words that break relationships. You connect with others more deeply when you acknowledge and focus on commonalities and respecting differences. The Commons is a place to talk about the commonalities and the differences in an effort to better understand yourself and others - growing in relationship.
Who The Commons is for?
The Commons is for women who want better conversations, better connections, and better community. Most of us want that. But there is a clear problem I see and have experienced. It's not a new problem. The latest social media, pandemic, or politics are not to blame, even if those situations exaggerate the problem. This problem has existed for a long time - since the beginning. The problem is loneliness.
All women have a part of themselves that has felt lonely at some time or another. Many women feel a core sense of loneliness. Some are home alone isolated from others due to circumstances or choices and crying out to be seen and heard. Whether busy or bored, most of us have experienced loneliness. Since the world is telling us that we can and should feel different, we wonder if it is just us. Our sense of loneliness can lead to feelings of guilt or shame. Sometimes to avoid our feelings and to deal with our pain we turn to spending, alcohol, drugs, sex or religion. Avoiding our pain and turning to other things can lead to addiction and further isolation. In our attempts to end our deep pain, we often make it worse causing ourselves and others more pain and suffering. The pain then becomes a central part of our story.
We pretend. We keep our stories inside of us. We suffer alone.
Often, I hear women make statements like these.
I wish I could spend more time with friends, but life is so busy.
I wish there were more real conversations, but they rarely happen.
I wish I had deeper connections, but I am so tired.
I wish I could do more of what I enjoy. Maybe when the kids are older.
There may be truth in all of these statements. There is also discontent and disconnection in these words. Loneliness is the problem.
What if it could be different? Saying we are lonely and understanding we were made for connection is an important step. The Commons with Karla is for women who acknowledge loneliness is a problem and desire to take steps forward.
Be yourself with other women like you.
What is the podcast about?
The Commons with Karla podcast is for women who want deeper connections and friendships.
Consider this. Each of us has a story wanting to be told our past our unique experiences, our reactions to events in our life, all combined into this kaleidoscope of images. Think picture book or maybe comic book.
I am not a scientist or a psychologist, so I won't pretend to fully understand how the brain or memory work. Nature versus nurture. Event versus reaction. There are many theories, and I am certainly no expert. What I do know is that a combination of factors affects us and creates our individual narrative.
I believe each story is worth telling and worth hearing. Some people are masterful at telling their stories. Others struggle to articulate what they know to be true for themselves, or what they are still struggling to understand. No matter where we land on the storytelling spectrum. There is something in our being that wants to be known and to share our story.
On the podcast each week, I talk with a friend about their unique story, lessons learned and their need for community. In our conversations, you will hear everyday stories from everyday people. My goal is to introduce you to beautiful, smart women who are navigating many roles and relationships. Some of these women will be people I have known in my real life. Others will be people new to me who have stepped up to share their stories (complete a guest submission form if you would like to be on the show). They have diverse backgrounds and lives, yet also much in common. Like you each has a story to share. Their story is important and impactful, they will not exactly match your story, but by listening for themes and commonalities, we can glean insights into our own situations. We won't tell you what you should do, we will give you inspiration, encouragement, and ideas to apply in your own life. The real purpose is that you would be inspired and have better conversations, better connections, and better community.
Who is Karla?
So why me? Why would I gather this community and host this podcast?
Let me tell you about me. I'm Karla. I live in Northern Nevada with my husband, daughter, dog, cat and fish. I am an introvert who loves people and enjoys me time. I love stories. Stories bring me life and shine a light on my desire to connect. Books and podcasts make me very happy. I also love meeting up with friends to talk, laugh and sometimes cry. I enjoy this so much that many of my personal friends would argue about my identification as an introvert. It is true. I am a people loving introvert who likes to think and process the world alone with a pen and a journal. And I like to talk. I like to ask questions and get people talking. I've learned so much from smart women I know. I have great friends, but I often live in my head. I need help to avoid head stuff and live in my heart and in my body. I have experienced deep loneliness starting in my childhood and frequently in my adult years. Those are some facts about me.
I also want to share my heart and my conviction that I am the one to host The Commons. I believe every person was made for connection. For as long as I can remember being a part of the act of connecting people has been part of who I am. I come to life when I get to hear other women's stories, my heart beats faster, and I lose all sense of time. When I hear a story from a person, or a book or a podcast, it makes me want to connect that story to someone I know or to share something helpful.
I live to connect women to other women in order for their story to be shared. I get fired up when I can introduce women to each other and they can speak into each other's lives, so that both women are helped. I have a deep conviction that I was made to help connect stories to women, and to help catalyze them into deeper relationships with the women they are around. I love to see women in their fullness, experiencing healing and connection.
I don't think I'm alone in having a desire to be in deep community and experience a richness of life. But I do think I'm uniquely positioned as the one to bring The Commons and The Commons with Karla podcast to the world at this time.
For years I've said to anyone who would listen that I wanted to share stories from everyday women. Stories that inspire, teach and encourage others. Stories women can eavesdrop on with permission, laugh along with, maybe cry and take what is helpful leaving the rest. That is what this podcast will be informal and purposeful conversations. Neither the guests nor I are counselors or relationship experts, we are just like you, women living the ups and downs of our lives. This podcast is meant to be a safe place, a place to know you are not alone, a place to fill up your emotional tank, a place to draw inspiration from. Then from that confident full tank and inspired place to go deeper in the relationships you already have. And those you begin. The goal is for you to create and nurture deeper connections in your real life. I see many examples in my community of women encouraging other women through life offering themselves and their stories. I want that kind of community for all of us. This podcast isn't shouting self-help advice, and one size fits all solutions to loneliness. What The Commons is offering is a step forward for women who have experienced loneliness and want things to be different. The podcast may be the catalyst to deeper relationships that you've been looking for.
You are not alone.
What is in it for you?
Waiting for you at The Commons is a community of women who are unique and different from you and who also have common struggles and joys. These are a few of the ways you might consider joining The Commons community. What you experience and learn at The Commons will help you as you engage with others in your own zip code. Ultimately you will reap deeper connections and richer relationships online and offline.
Learn to identify and state your personal and family values
Connect your actions and choices to your stated values
Learn to tell your story and be vulnerable
Grow your ability to listen
Identify what is stopping you from connections
Address what is stopping you from connections
Find people to talk to and learn from
Make online friendships that may grow and become offline friends
Listen to the podcast for insights, wisdom, and practical tips
Get wisdom, encouragement, book recommendations from newsletter
Read blog posts and articles that dig deeper and make you think
Take video and audio classes to learn specific topics and grow
Opt-in to coaching for getting unstuck or achieving or making impact
Purchase package to record the voice and stories of someone you love
Build connections and grow your impact at The Commons
If you are someone who likes to learn and to connect and to talk about deep and everyday things of life, consider this your forever invitation to meet me at The Commons. Whether you are surrounded by people or feel alone, you are welcome here. Whether you are living your dream or unsure what steps to take next, you are welcome here. Whether you have a clear plan or feel stuck, you are welcome here. The Commons is a safe place “to not be okay”, to speak the truth, to know your worth, and to do it all with others.
In the words of Thomas Merton. "Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone. We find it with another."
Hope to see you soon and often at The Commons!
